What Came First... the Scrambled Baby Chicken or the Sausage Gravy Covered Horse Patty

First, let me explain what the hell is going on here. There's this drinking game... "What the F*ck?"... Yes, that's the name of the game (Sarah bought it at the dirty store [aka, sex store, toy store...]). It has a plethora of inappropriate questions, and the purpose is to guess what another person will answer to one of these tasteless inquiries.

Well, one question that came up on a road-trip (members being Brittany, Sarah, & Chris) was "Would you rather eat scrambled, about to hatch baby chickens, OR sausage gravy covered horse patties (aka, horse shit)?" The question was asked to me, so Sarah & Chris had to guess what I'd answer. They thought I'd choose the latter (horse shit), but I chose what any other sane person would choose: chicken. They claimed I was disgusting! They'd rather eat horse shit than nicely scrambled chicken!! Now every time they proclaim, "Scrambled baby chicken eater," I have to drink. I think that they should drink when I yell out, "Gravy covered poop eater!"

Let me continue this saga by saying, every time we ask this question to anyone else, the person ALWAYS chooses chicken. What does that mean? Hmmm... Further more, on December 30, 2006, Chris stated that he's STARTING TO RETHINK HIS POSITION ON THE SCRAMBLED BABY CHICKEN DEBATE. That's right, folks. He's come to his senses and realized that no matter what you cover it in, poop will NEVER be okay to eat (unless you're Wicket, and then cat poop is a delicacy. And that still isn't okay).

2.7 miles!? ... I know!

It was sheer coincidence that we found an online clip that demonstrates our ability to bring all conversations back to poop. Poor Jaimey doesn't appreciate our fecal obsession, but we enjoy the quotes that tend to come out of these conversations. This clip is a perfect example of quotable poopisms... "2.7 miles!? ... I know!"

And so we pay homage (drink) to poop. Yay, poop!

People Actually Say This Shit

I am always amazed at the words that come out of people's mouths - mine included. We have our "Quotes from the Archives" which will be a list of our older quotes - we will update this list as we find more napkins, coasters & tabs with our scribbles. This post will include more recent quotes - enjoy!

Angie - "You have to get your fingers messy if you want to get a little juice."

David (Big City) - "I think I need to have a drive-by tooting."

Big Jim (BigCity) - "You are supposed to slide down the pole. It's part of the show!"

Brittany - "His family is a banjo dipped in creole sauce."

Sarah - "One time at the HB Sacco had a harem of kilt wearing, fur toting hoes at the table next to him."

Jaimey - "There's a lot of head at the top."
Brittany - "Don't worry - it'll go down."

Sacco (said while mimicking quotations with fingers) - "Brittany with her rules. Monogomy...Only date me."

Brittany (to Sarah) - "Copious? What are you fucking Webster or something?"

Brittany (to Sarah) - "He (Sacco) didn't reposition his meat like we did."

Joy - "Just sit on a stuffed animal - it feels the same."

Sacco - "It doesn't count if you stick your tongue in the hole."

Sacco (to Brittany in regards to her friendship with Jaimey & Sarah) - "You can soil it. They love you."

Sacco - "If I get full I would rather it be in the butt end."

Sacco- "Does this thing come with 1 olive?" (Brittany & Sarah giggling hysterically) Jaimey - "Can I try your olive?" Sacco - "Have the whole thing. I'm CTRL-ALT-DEL'ing this thing."

Stephen (Birthday Boy at Howl) - "If I elbow you in the left titty again (to Sparky) let me know & I will give you some money."

Terri - "I was drinking coffee this morning and I didn't have any pants on."

Bully - "BUCKET DOWN!"

Brittany (to Chris) - "Just lick it and see if you like it - then you can dip it."

A Redneck Quote

One day Sparky & Tyner were hanging out on the beautiful beaches of Fort Dub enjoying a tasty beverage that so conveniently comes in a can. The topic of Mullet, the fish, came up. Sparky stated that she has never tried Mullet - Tyner then responds:

"I love fried Mullet tail! It tastes like crunchy french fries!"

Later that day, Sparky repeats Tyner's statement to Joy. Joy's response:

"It does! It does! It does taste like crunchy french fries!"

There are always times when you question your friends sanity - this was smurfing one of them!

Joy's Reaction

I didn’t feel any love the for the original Husband – Mr. Lifestyles direct from under Brooks Bridge!

This is Joy's quote after she was invited to view the blog. Joy is the wife of our little game's very first husband. Her lovely sister Dora pointed him out to her. DRINK!!

Simpsons Plays That's Your Husband

Once again, the Simpsons are on the cutting edge of hilarity. This is a slight variation of TYH, but very representative of how this game is played.

Ways to Call Someone Out

Not only is this game creative in and of itself but group memebers can show their creative skills by inventing new ways to assign one of their friends a wife/husband. Here are a few of my favorite ways to get my friends to drink.

1. The Hot Girl/Guy's Friend: When you spot a potential wife/husband look for their hot friend or an attractive person within their vicinity. Here is and example: "Hey Tyner - check out that hot piece of a$$ over there sitting at the bar with the blue shirt on!" Tyner proceeds to check out the hottie. Once her attention is focused to the right area of the bar I then proceed to point out her new husband sitting at the bar next to the hottie.

2. Silent Call Out: This is my favorite!! Sometimes a potential wife/husband walks into a bar and nothing needs to be said. This works especially well if there happens to be a solo gender in your group that evening. For example: Sacco is hanging out with the ladies feeling slightly pimpish. His future wife, a 4'9" butterball dressed in a leather mini skirt and a hot pink tank with fried out blonde hair tall enough to make her 5'5", walks into the bar. I, Sparky, spot her at the same time as Sacco. Eye contact is made with Sacco, he nods and then proceeds to drink.

3. After the Fact: I must credit this innovative call out to my dad!! Good ole' pops was enjoying a lazy day at the beach this summer. He then happens to spot a future husband for his daughter Sparky. Seeing as Sparky was not along for this day at the beach, he pulls his camera out, takes a picture & then presents Sparky with a picture of her husband the next time she comes over for dinner. Nice.

These are just a few examples. Please be creative. Also, remember that while playing "That's Your Husband" at a bar provides plenty of wives/husbands this game can & should be played outside the four walls of your favorite watering hole. Beaches, grocery stores & restaurants provide ample participants.

Rules to That's Your Husband

While "That's Your Husband" seems like a simple game for the simple minded there are rules that must be followed in order to participate.

1. Everyone is a participant in the game. If you are single - you're game, if you are committed - you're game & if you are married - well you can get married again & again & again. Also, any future huband/wife is game as well. There is no discrimination-this game IS politically incorrect.

2. Once someone within your group has selected a wife/husband for you that wife/husband is yours for the rest of your life. The next time you are out at the bar & see the wife/husband again you might as well drink.

3. Once a wife/husband has been selected for someone in the group that wife/husband can not be reassigned to another group memeber. Your wife/husband is for life - drink.

4. A participant can have several wives/husbands assigned to them during a night of debauchary. The more you have the more you get to drink. Also, everytime your wife/husband is spotted by someone within your group you drink. I recommend a bucket of beer at your side if you are a serious gamer.

5. THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE TO FOLLOW!! When you begin your life long commitment to "That's Your Husband" your number one priority is to burn the image of the group's very first wife/husband into your memory. Everytime this person is spotted all members of the group must drink.

~ Quotes from the Archive ~

Brittany: I have a monkey on my cherry.

Jaimey: Excuse me! Excuse me! Can I get a cherry!?

Sarah's dad: I just found about 4 husbands for you Sarah.

Bartender (to Sarah): You have the same last name as that guy. Is that your husband? [points to her dad]

Wendy (not drunk): What are eight dollars & ninety-nine cents.

Sarah: I have a pen (presents pen). And I have paper (presents paper).

Brittany: Look at her teeth!! How unfortunate.

Chris: Skort. (gay dancer)

Sarah: That's what happens when you get old. You start skeeting foam.

Sarah: I have to go home and use my toy every time I see him.

Sarah: I'm so not in the mood for penis rubbing tonight.

Amy: Did you know Hurricane Katrina is Hurricane Katrina?

Joy: I'm always wet.

Jewls: If my asshole could speak, it just said the alphabet.

Jewls: I'll give your kids acid when they're old enough.

Jewls: I don't know what shit tastes like, but I think I just tasted it.

Kelly: This beer smells bad.
Brittany: Maybe its your finger.

Sarah: Enough with the gay fucking slow songs. Enough.

Brittany: Some people don't belong on the quote board.

Todd: I have a picture of his ass.

Jay: All I'm saying, Brittany, is you remind me of a schoolgirl and I strive to be your valedictorian.

Joy: Jim, you're going to have to clean this seat when I get up.

Not quite a quote from Brittany's inner thoughts: Drink & Poop Olympic event.

Brittany: It's going to be another creamy one.

Sarah: I heard she likes it in the ear.

Colin: Her name is short bus.

Colin: Another story about masturbation and field trips...

Brittany: Did you hear about when we were tailgating at Chili's pre-Mullet Festival?

Jewls to Brittany: When I first met you, he was in jail.

Sarah: I have made so many good decisions and so many bad decisions in this bar.

Joy: Excuse me. Your armpit is on my hair.

Julia-Gulia: I think I'm in heat - I'm on the prowl.

We Were Out Drinking One Night...

This is the first post to our blog. We're popping the cherry to our blog with directions on how to play our favorite drinking game. We've decided to share the ancient game of "That's Your Husband" (TYH for the acronymally inclined) with the rest of the world. The game is meant to offend those who are chosen as "your husband" as well as you if you're called out.

Point of the game: find the aesthetically-challenged people in the bar and tell your drinking buddy, "that's your husband" ("wife" when appropriate). They say, "Shit!", and everyone laughs. Adding a forced drink to the called out person makes it more fun because you get intoxicated and your voice gets louder (hilarious to see the ugly folks get offended when you're drunk!).

Enjoy offending the less fortunate! We'll continue to share our other favorite drinking games, as well as hilarious quotes and stories from our escapades, as long as you continue to enjoy!

CHEERS!